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IGNTD


Feb 12, 2020

It’s only a couple of days away from Valentine’s Day so we’re just in time to bring you a conversation that will hopefully change the way you think about the holiday! Valentine’s has turned into this holiday where one partner has to prove to another that they really care enough to do what ‘you’re supposed to do’ on Valentine’s Day. It’s moved away from being about love and instead about proving that you're part of a relationship by following an expected protocol (i.e. buying flowers, scheduling a dinner, etc.).

 

But we really want to shift this narrative. We want you to uplevel your relationship on February 14th and to start looking at the holiday as an opportunity to grow together as a couple rather than treating it as a relationship test or protocol.

 

So in today’s episode, we’re going to take you through some actionable steps to take this coming Valentine’s to learn more about your partner, uplevel your relationship, and spend true quality time together. Even if you only take 1% of our advice this episode we promise you that you’ll become more connected than ever with your partner come February 14th!

 

IGNTD Specials:

IGNTD Couples Workshop

Free IGNTD Recovery Workshop

New IGNTD Recovery Live Online Support Groups

 

Topics Discussed:

[:34] About today’s episode!

[2:10] Reading our review of the week.

[3:02] Sophie shares a great quote by Clarissa Estes.

[3:38] Our take on Valentine’s Day.

[6:00] The angle we’re taking this episode in taking a look at Valentine’s Day: how to uplevel Valentine’s.

[7:50] The five love languages and how they could fit into your Valentine’s Day.

[8:46] What the build-up to Valentine’s Day should look like and the importance of showing your love for your partner every day of the year not just on Valentine’s.

[11:50] Discussing one of the five love languages (gift-giving) and speaking about our own history with it.

[19:52] The act of paying attention is so important. But waiting for Valentine’s Day to show your love exacerbates the problem of it being like a ‘love test.’

[20:37] Discussing two of the other love languages: spending quality time together and acts of service.

[24:02] What if you shifted the way you prepared for and thought about Valentine’s Day?

[25:26] The importance of checking in with your partner on a regular basis… But checking in with yourself first. Here’s how you can start taking steps to up-leveling your relationship as a couple.

[30:10] The language you should use when talking with your partner about improving the relationship.

[34:02] The importance of communication and what the goal should be when you’re having a discussion.

[38:13] What if your partner is not receptive to having a conversation about the relationship or putting in the work?

[43:14] Our three prompts for you to do together as a couple this Valentine’s Day!

[51:27] If you’re feeling really brave, we’d love to hear from you on how answering these three prompts together with your partner turned out for you! What were your answers? What did you discover? We’d love to learn from your experience!

[52:00] Our final thoughts on Valentine’s Day.

 

Mentioned in this Episode:

Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype,
by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

IGNTD Couples Workshop

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, by Gary Chapman

LoveBook

 

Find out more about IGNTD:

IGNTD.com

IGNTD.libysn.com

 

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Facebook: IGNTD

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Sophie’s Instagram: @Sophie.Jaffe

Adi’s Instagram: @DrAdiJaffe

 

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